Every morning and every night when I say my prayers, I thank Heavenly Father for the life (or lives) that is growing inside me. I pray that He will continue to watch over them and keep them growing. And that's all I can do...pray. I have to constantly remind myself that it is all in His hands.
I still worry though. Anyone who's had multiple miscarriages knows that the worry never goes away.
I scheduled my six week ultrasound for next Thursday. The nurse said I should go ahead and schedule an appt with my OB for my 9 wk appt. Well, I had to find a new OB because my current one no longer does labor and delivery, but he did give me a referral. I called and schedule that appt, then I started thinking, 'oh my, maybe I should wait before I jump that far ahead?!' Yikes! The appt is on the calendar.
Earlier this week I had a friend announce on face.book that she was expecting #3. It turns out she is as far along as I am. I was surprised that she would announce it so early! Is that what normal fertile people do?
We have only told a few close friends (and of course, who ever reads this blog knows). And only one of my coworkers knows. She has been praying for us and she shared our news with her good friend. I received an email from her friend (whom I've never met) and it just made my day. I am amazed by the kindness and prayers of perfect strangers. I wanted to share her email and psalms verse.
"I have been praying for you and thinking a lot about you, especially over the last week. I read these verses out of Psalm this morning and thought of you immediately. I thought about the tiny life growing inside you and how God has known this child from the minute of conception. I often ponder on the thought that God knows every thing about our lives from the moment He creates us. What an awesome God we serve. I pray that He will watch over you, your husband and this tiny life that grows day by day. May you have a blessed day."
Psalm 139:13-16
13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.
12 comments:
It is in God's hands... but Faith and prayer helps get through the ups and downs. Praying for you its all ups and that you will be posting pictures of your expanding family!!! I just know you will be amazing parents!!!
Following your posts .. gives me hope that all is possible ..Blessings..HHL
Oh Hannah...what a beautiful verse! Life does take us through our ups and downs...ins and outs...but most of all...through simple unexpected kindness from total strangers. Although I have not been to church in ages...I know that I have faith in Our Heavenly Father and His plan for all of us. I know that He is watching over you and your little Angel, whom, Our Father has especially picked for both you and Steve. What great joy it is to know that our prayers are always answered! Be happy...do what you want to do...when I heard from Shady Grove that I was pregnant...I did not believe the blood test! I know how hard it is to be soooo happy and to be very careful too. Van and I did not tell our family until I was further along.
But to see the baby's heart beating for the first time just made us uncontrollable! Enjoy your journey :)
How Beautiful!!! I have always loved that Psalm. And how wonderful to meet a prayer buddy you didn't even know you had. You have had so many prayers lifted up for you over the past few months. I have heard several people announce their pregnancy very early. I don't understand unless that's just fertile mindset. I think I would lay low till I was through the 1st tri. But I can also see how hard it would be to keep a secret that long.
HANNAH!!! I have been on vacation for a week and just got back connected!! OMG I am so excited and praying for you that things continue to go well. I was thinking about you during my trip but didn't have anyway to check your blog. So glad, SO glad!!
www.infertilityinstability.blogspot.com
Hey, Hannah! I'm so glad that you are taking the leap of faith to schedule your appointment with your OB! I'm praying for you every day! And to answer your question about fertile people...I have learned that it is quite common even for fertile people, out there, to have miscarriages. More than I ever imagined! And once one has had a miscarriage, (myself included in this category with you), many of us are always much more cautious about announcing to anyone outside of close family and friends that we are expecting. I have learned through my experiences that God is completely in charge of whether or not I can conceive and carry a baby to full term. And it is truly a miracle when it happens. Once many of us have had a miscarriage, when we are able by the grace and will of God to have a baby, most of us do not ever take that precious gift for granted! May you feel the peace and sustaining presence of His Spirit as each day passes! Love to you and Steve!
This post has brought me to tears. I am so happy for you. It is frustrating that being pregnant, normally such a happy occasion, has to be mixed with fear and uneasiness. I have never been pregnant so I don't fully understand but I know that when/if I ever am, I will prob have some uneasiness. God is our strength though and one verse that has helped me in the past when I worry is 1 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." Maybe I'm taking it out of context but still, it helps me when I worry...
I am so hopeful for you! I am praying for you! I feel so blessed and humbled that thankfully my husband and I never had fertility problems. My heart aches for those who do. I sure cherish my children and knowing people who have had trouble concieving makes me appreciate my children even more. I am praying God will bless you with your miracle! I know he can. Our God is so great, so strong and so mighty, theres nothing my God cannot do!
Hugs, Ginger
I've been thinking a lot about you, too. I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd yesterday, and yes, I want to announce it RIGHT NOW. I've never miscarried, and of course I'm a little worried, but nothing like what you're feeling, I'm sure. I haven't announced it, though, because a good friend has tried for over a year to get pregnant, and then miscarried last week.
I doubt I'll make it all the way through the first trimester, though. When school starts and I go back to work, I'll definitely tell my co-workers. And if I start getting sick, there will be other people I'll have to explain it to, too.
With my first pregnancy, I felt like telling people helped me to be more excited and less nervous.
Anyway, congrats again and I pray that we both have healthy pregnancies!
Thanks for the comment:) I will be on Lovenox my entire pregnancy...I have uterine blood flow issues due to my two clotting disorder...MTHFR and Factor 13...I also had a blood clot in my lung after my first IVF cycle....this was prior to knowing I had any clotting disorders....I guess usually women like me get induced so that they can switch you over to Heperin a few days before delivery in case you have to have a c-section....If you do not have any know clotting disorders why did your Dr put you on it? Take Care:)
I can't tell you how much I love Psalm 139! It's also our scripture for MOPS this year.
Keep the faith, Hannah. God promises to complete a good work in you. Continued prayers for this pregnancy and for a beautiful, healthy baby(ies);-)
Hannah,
I never had trouble getting pregnant, but staying pregnant was a different story. After losing our baby at 18 weeks, then two early miscarriages, it took me a long time to tell anyone when I got pregnant again. I didn't even set up a nursery until our son was born because I just didn't believe it would actually happen. Then when he came home from the hospital, I was still shocked that he was mine!
Keep those verses close to your heart. God has a plan for your baby (or babies!)!
Hannah! I have been thinking about you so much. In fact, I was lying in bed not able to sleep because I was wondering how you were. So I got online to read your blog and see if there was any news. I am so happy that the beta numbers are so high!!!! I have been pleading with Heavenly Father in your behalf to grant you your desire. And I will continue to do so throughout your pregnancy. Always remember the infinite power of hope and what it can offer our sometimes weakend spirits.
Much love,
Rebecka
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