Back on the Wagon

That box is the start of our IVF cycle.  It contains all our drugs for this cycle. 

We are back at it!  Today was my first appointment of this cycle. I finished taking my last BCP (birthcontrol pill), which you are required to take for 2 1/2 weeks before a cycle starts (yeah, sounds contradicting when you are trying to have a baby!). 

Those BCP were quite the mood buster for me (mostly sad kind of mood).  I'm so glad to be done with them!  

I start my shots on Monday and go back on Wednesday for BW/US (Bloodwork/ultrasound).  Then more shots, etc. 

We should know by Christmas if the cycle works.  That would just be the best Christmas present ever!  Let's all pray it works!

I am nervous to be back on the crazy roller coaster, but I have faith that whatever happens will all be part of Heavenly Father's plan for our family. 

One of those Mommy moments where you feel like you Failed

Last night I had one of those mommy moments where I felt like I failed. 

 

I picked Matthew up from daycare and fed him dinner (thanks McDonald's drive thru).  He watched T.V. while eating so I could get some things cleaned up. 

Then after he ate, I let him watch more T.V. and more T.V and instead of cleaning up the house or doing something useful, I just felt so tired and was not motivated to do anything.  An overwhelming sense of sadness for some reason.  And all I wanted to do was just cuddle up next to him.

So there we were sitting on the couch, him watching Dora, Diego, Bubble Guppies and Paw Patrol, while I laid there hugging him and scrolling thru my phone on social media and hugging him more and telling him how much I loved him. (Steve was at school and volunteering so he wasn't home).

I felt like I had failed as a  mother because instead of doing my motherly duties, I was letting my little boy watch hours of T.V.! 

 

And 24 hrs later, I can look back and say it probably didn't have any long lasting effects on Matthew and as a matter of fact, it'll probably happen again (hopefully not anytime soon).

 

In the grand scheme of things, it may not be a major fail, but sometimes being a mommy is hard and you will fail at times, but you just get right back up and do the best you can. 

 

Mommyhood isn't always perfect clean houses and perfect kids.  It's about being honest with the good, the bad and the ugly days. 

This picture was taken over the weekend when we were enjoying hot chocolate and caramel apple cider from Starbucks.  I wish every day was a hot chocolate kind of day!

Chuck E Chic Fil

My niece Mya spent the weekend with us.  We went to Chuck E Cheese and Saturday morning and they had so much fun together.  (The best time to go is early in the morning before it gets crazy busy!).  I think Matthew enjoyed putting the coins in each game more than actually playing the game!

We had lunch at Chick fil A afterwards and then headed home.  It was a fun day!

I love watching Matthew play with his cousins.  I can't wait until he has siblings to play (and fight) with.  He just loves being around other kids. 

 

And sometimes, it's nice to watch him play by himself too.  If he's meant to be an only child, then we will get a puppy for him to play with!  Ha!

 

A Witch, A Doctor and An Elephant

Matthew really enjoyed Halloween this year.  We went to a trunk or treat activity at church the day before Halloween.  I was worried he wouldn't wear his costume, but after asking to take his clothes off first, he put his costume on.  It wasn't cold at all so it worked out great.  It was a nice 'practice run' before Halloween. 

 

We went trick or treating for a little bit in the neighborhood and he was loving it!  We didn't stay out too long because it started raining and his little pumpkin was getting heavy.  We came home and passed out candy to all the cute little trick or treaters.

 

Stealing kisses from my little elephant!



This Little Boy of Mine

 

 

This little boy of mine, he has a heart of gold.  He amazes me everyday.

 

I was sitting at the kitchen counter doing something and he walks over to me and says:

 'Mommy sit by herself? I love you mommy.  Jesus loves you.'

 

My little mommy heart just exploded.

 

I had been feeling down lately and in that moment, my son reminded me that Jesus loves me.  It's those little tender mercy moments that makes being a mom such an amazing calling.

 

No matter how often I doubt my role as a mother, in the eyes of my son, I'm doing ok because he knows I love him and he knows Jesus loves me. 

 

This little boy of mine....he sure does know how to lift up his mama's spirits!



The Best Part Of Fall Ya'll

PUMPKIN PATCH!!

 

 

This is one of the many reasons why I enjoy the Fall.  We spent the afternoon at Great Country Farms (which has the BEST apple cider donuts)!!  The weather was perfect. 

 

Trying to take a picture of a toddler is hard, but trying to do it with a bunch of sticks laying around, is almost impossible.  He just wanted to play sword fights with daddy. 

 

Steve was a trooper, as usual.  He's not big on these types of activities, but he goes along because he knows how much I love it and Matthew loves it too!  I sure do have the best baby daddy.  :)

 

Next up.....carving our pumpkins (that we previously bought from Walmart, which was way cheaper).

 

Hope ya'll are having a great Fall!



Hello? Anyone Still There?!!

Wow, it's been a long time.  I guess I took an unintentional break from blogging.  I sure do miss capturing our family life on this blog as well as reading about all of my blogging buddies.

 

You know how it is, life gets busy and busier and busier....

 

We are all alive and doing well.  We enjoyed the summer and now loving the fall.  The leaves are changing and the burst of color all around are welcoming.  We did our annual apple picking a few weeks ago.  It was unusually warm (90 degrees in October!)  and I thought I was going to pass out from heat exhaustion, but we all survived. 

 

Matthew is growing every day and my little heart is growing in love right along with him.  He lights up my world. 

 

Matthew is taking a music class one day a week.  He is enjoying it more each week.  They do a lot of singing and playing with instruments.  His favorite so far is the big drum. 

 

 

 

The government shutdown has reduced my work hours the last two weeks.  I've been forced to take some vacation time off but it doesn't feel like a vacation because I've been running all over town doing errands and such.  Let's hope the government will get their act together soon.

 

On the baby making front, not much has happened.  I had to postpone my HSG procedure last month because I ended up with a MRSA infection twice! And then Steve got MRSA too (way worse than I did).  Thankfully we are all healed now. 

 

I did manage to get the HSG procedure done last week so our next step is to sit down with the doctor to see when we will start the IVF process.  Lots to think about and figure out (financially).  Part of me wishes that I will just get pregnant on my own and we won't have to go thru IVF, but I know that it's all wishful thinking. 

 

That's the latest and greatest around here.  If anyone is even still reading this little old blog.  I will try and get back into the swing of keeping up with my blog.  It's important to capture all the family moments aside from Instagram and FB!

 

Happy Hump Day!