Show and Tell - Ballet

Abbey started ballet last Saturday. She loves it and I love watching the cute little girls dancing around in their tutu's.  So, this will be our Saturday mornings for the next six weeks.

Check out what everyone else is sharing over at Mel's. 

Wrong Ti.ger

After Ti.ger W.oods made his big apology speech last Friday, we were home that evening with my niece and I said to Steve, 'Guess what Ti.ger said?'

Without missing a beat, Abbey says, 'ROARRRR!'

Uh, wrong ti.ger.  Both Steve and I laughed so hard!  I had to tell Abbey it wasn't the Ti.ger she thought it was. 

Just one of those moments that makes me laugh when I think about my sweet, innocent niece. 

ICLW & SITM. Welcome!

If you are visiting from ICLW, welcome!  If you don't know what I'm talking about, visit Mel at The Stirrup Queen. So, here's our story in nut shell; thirty something, married for 10 yrs (in June), 4 IUIs, 2 IVFs and 3 miscarriages.  See side bar for details.  We are on a little break now and getting ready for our cruise next month to the Cay.man Islands!  Thanks for stopping by!  Looking forward to finding new blogs and keeping up with old ones.  Leave a comment, I would love to 'meet' you. 

This week is also the big Sock It To Me (SITM) reveal.  Visit Kymberli at I'm a Smart One to get the background on this fun event (if you click on the link and see a blank post, scroll all the way down and you will see the story.  For some reason, her blog isn't cooperating today).  My SITM  buddy was JJ from Reproductive Jeans.  She sent me a lovely package that made my day! 

They were nicely wrapped and had a note attached to each one. 

I was so excited to open them up!

I've already worn them all and they are so warm! 

Thank you JJ for my warm socks!  I love all of them and they have been keeping my feet nice and warm during this cold winter! 

My Moments

It's been a week since our BFN confirmation and I've had some moments:

I've had moments of breakdown (like when I went shopping and saw all the cute easter baby clothes and realized that I may never get to buy any of those things). 

I've had moments where I question why God didn't let this cycle work.  And I was actually angry at God for the hurt that I was feeling.

I've had moments of feeling pain in my soul (exactly like the first time I found out I miscarried at my first ultrasound). 

I've had moments of pondering if I could live childless, which leads to more pain in my soul.

I've had moments of crying myself to sleep at night (quietly so my husband doesn't know).

I've had moments of personal prayer where I pray for strength to make it through the day. 

I've had moments where I had to 'Be Still and Know'...that my Heavenly Father loves me, even in my deepest hour of pain.

Although I may not understand this trial that I am going through now, I have to keep believing.  Someday (maybe after this life time) I will look back on this whole journey and truly understand why I had to go through it.  I know that the Lord only gives us trials that He knows we can handle. And even though it feels unbearable at times, I have to keep believing.

Show and Tell - Monogram Wall Plaque

Look what I won from Burkett Blessings! I just have to figure out where to hang it.

Check out what everyone else is showing at Mel's.

Celebrities...they're just like us.

(People magazine is one of my guilty pleasures)

I just read this article this morning while I was waiting at the Orthodontist office.  I love Ce.line Di.on.  It's nice to know that even all the money in the world can't help the outcome of IVF.  Ce.line and her husband conceived their son on their first IVF attempt, but now they are trying for a second baby and have done four IVF's.  Her last IVF resulted in miscarriage (right after the pregnancy leaked to the public and she confirmed her pregnancy, she miscarriad a few days later).  The best part of the article for me was when she said that there are days where she just cries for no reason.  We've all been there.  Like so many of us, she is trying to continue to live her life and not let it consume her. 

I'm glad that she is sharing her IVF struggle with the public. Just because they're celebrities and have tons of money, it doesn't make them any more fertile than the rest of us.  I hope and pray that she will be able to add to her family. 

Weekend Round Up

We went to see the movie Valentine's Day on Friday night. I thought it was a cute V-Day movie. It had a great cast of stars and I like everyone one of them.

We dined at Jackson's, which is part of the Great American Restaurant chains. (Our all time favorite is still Sweetwater Tavern).

Spider Roll (I've never seen it made this way before.  They made it all fancy schmancy.)

My Seabass dinner.  It was yummy.

On Saturday, I spent all day cleaning and then we went to dinner with some friends at a Japanese Hibachi restaurant.  (They made my Spider roll the correct way and it was very yummy in my tummy!)

It was a really fun night.  I'm glad we were able to spend time with friends.

Aside from being V-Day on Sunday, it was also Chinese New Year.  We went to my cousin's house after church and spent time there with family. 

My hubby is such a trooper for putting up with my family.  And even though he doesn't eat any of the Vietnamese food at our family gatherings, he always comes along and tries to enjoy himself. 

My niece and nephews (sister's kids)

Overall we had a wonderful weekend.  It was nice to be able to keep busy and to keep my mind off the failed cycle.  We will take the next few months off and continue to pray about what we're suppose to do next (another cycle or adoption?) 

BFN Confirmed

Shocker?! Yeah, I already knew before I even had my blood drawn this morning.  For a split second, I was hoping a miracle would happen, but it didn't. 

Thanks for all your kind words.  It really does mean a lot to have the support. 

I am off to enjoy the Valentine's weekend with my hubby.  We are trying a new restaurant and will go watch the movie Valentine's Day (opens tonight).  I will be feasting on sushi/seafood and diet coke. 

14dp6dt

Due to the weather conditions here in the D.C. area, I couldn't make it to my beta test this morning.  I'm scheduled to go in tomorrow.  I don't see the point though because I've already POAS today and it was negative.  Oh, and I started spotting too.  So, I'm pretty sure I'm NOT pregnant.  Such as life.

11dp6dt

I'm 11dp6dt.  I've POAS (I won't tell you how many times already) and it's all negative!  With my last IVF cycle, I didn't get a positive from a pee stick until the day before my beta.  I'm down to one pee stick left and my beta appointment was scheduled for Wednesday, however, we are scheduled to get MORE snow on Tuesday/Wednesday (maybe an additional 10 inches.  As if 33" isn't enough!) so the nurse called and said they are pushing my appt back to Thursday. 

It's so very discouraging to see the negative line SO MANY TIMES!  I'm sure many of you know the feeling. 

I already started to make 'plans' if this cycle doesn't work.  (First thing I would do is go eat sushi and get drunk on diet coke!) I think I may have the rest of the year planned out.  But does anything ever go according to plan? 

My hope tank is on Empty.  I am hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.  By Thursday I will be 14dp6dt.  If it doesn't show up on a pee stick by Wednesday, then what are the chances that it worked?  The waiting is the hardest part.  I would much rather just know and move on. 

Snowstorm 2010!!

It started snowing Friday morning and just stopped a few hours ago.  We got 33" of snow!!

It's beautiful outside! 

There's something calm and peaceful about the beauty of snow falling.

Chillaxin in the snow. 

Abbey loves playing in the snow.

Our neighbor has a snow blower so we were grateful that he was kind enough to let us use it.  It's sooo much easier than shoveling all that snow!!

Steve built Abbey an 'igloo.'

Here they are inside the igloo. 

We love being snowed in with Abbey.  We've watched movies, played games, played teacher, made chicken noodle soup, and will be making cookies tomorrow.  They have already cancelled school for Monday and Tuesday!  And the weather forecast is calling for MORE snow on Tuesday and Wednesday!

The "So, How's everything going?" look

Is it me or does it seem like when people know you are TTC (or in the 2WW) and when they see you, they greet you with the 'So, How's everything going?' look or the 'How are YOU doing?' look.  It's all in the way they say it and of course when they stare straight at your bellly (like that's not a dead giveaway at what they're really trying to ask?!).

I mean seriously, how come their tone doesn't change when they ask that same question to any other random person?  Why do I get the special tone or worst, whisper, when being asked?  And the look is just the cherry on top!  Do they stare at every one else's belly when asking that question?  Really people. 

Anyone else get the same question/looks??

The Final Season of...

So excited!!!!!