Prayers From Perfect Strangers

Every morning and every night when I say my prayers, I thank Heavenly Father for the life (or lives) that is growing inside me.  I pray that He will continue to watch over them and keep them growing.  And that's all I can do...pray.  I have to constantly remind myself that it is all in His hands. 

I still worry though.  Anyone who's had multiple miscarriages knows that the worry never goes away. 

I scheduled my six week ultrasound for next Thursday.  The nurse said I should go ahead and schedule an appt with my OB for my 9 wk appt.  Well, I had to find a new OB because my current one no longer does labor and delivery, but he did give me a referral.  I called and schedule that appt, then I started thinking, 'oh my, maybe I should wait before I jump that far ahead?!'  Yikes!  The appt is on the calendar. 

Earlier this week I had a friend announce on face.book that she was expecting #3.  It turns out she is as far along as I am.  I was surprised that she would announce it so early!  Is that what normal fertile people do? 

We have only told a few close friends (and of course, who ever reads this blog knows).  And only one of my coworkers knows.  She has been praying for us and she shared our news with her good friend.  I received an email from her friend (whom I've never met) and it just made my day.  I am amazed by the kindness and prayers of perfect strangers.  I wanted to share her email and psalms verse. 

"I have been praying for you and thinking a lot about you, especially over the last week. I read these verses out of Psalm this morning and thought of you immediately. I thought about the tiny life growing inside you and how God has known this child from the minute of conception. I often ponder on the thought that God knows every thing about our lives from the moment He creates us. What an awesome God we serve. I pray that He will watch over you, your husband and this tiny life that grows day by day. May you have a blessed day."

Psalm 139:13-16
13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

No Embryo's to Freeze

Thank you for all your kind words to my emotional day yesterday.  It is such a comfort to know that there are people out there (who I've never met) who are praying for us. It just warms my heart! 

After the nurse called yesterday and delivered the news that the nine embryo's we had left did not make it long enough to freeze, I kept wondering why those little embry babies didn't survive.  I was a little bummed about it, but then Steve said something that I hadn't thought of.  Maybe the Lord didn't let them survive so we wouldn't have to worry about the cost of storing them, or more importantly, what we would do with them long term.  Maybe He will bless us with a BFP this cycle and we don't need those extra embryos! 

I know it can be a hard decision for some couples.  We discussed it previously with the RE's office when we signed all our paper work. The Shared Risk Program covers one year of storage.  Then you have to pay a yearly storage fee.  There's also the option to donate them (to other couples or to Science) or have them destroyed. We probably would pay the yearly storage fees until I reach an age where I can't have children. Then we would probably donate them to science.

I am grateful that Heavenly Father knows our struggles and knows what's best for us.  Sometimes what's best isn't always what WE think are the best.  But He will carry us through all of it.  Thank you for your prayers.  Keep them coming.