Motherhood: The First Year



I remember the first time I laid eyes on my sweet baby boy.  My heart grew ten times larger and was filled with a love that I had never felt before.  His sweet spirit immediately filled the room and I knew my life would forever be changed.  If he could have talked, I imagine he would have said, "I'm finally here momma."

The first few months of motherhood was the hardest!  Oh, so hard! Nothing really prepares you for it.  The sleep deprivation that goes along with recovery makes it seem impossible at times, but then I hold Matthew and feel his soft skin against mine and I know all will be well. I prayed for this child and God answered my prayers and He would get me through the hard times.

Watching Matthew grow each month and reaching each milestone has been such a blessing. Hearing him laugh out loud is music to my ears.  Seeing him smile makes my day brighter.  I miss him when I'm out running errands without him. I even miss him when he's sleeping!  He is constantly on my mind all day long. 

Motherhood has taught me a love that goes deeper than any words can describe.  It has taught be to be patient, to be kind, to be more cognizant of the whisperings of the spirit.

Motherhood has increased my faith tremendously.  Anyone who has been on the infertility journey knows that it is a faith building journey.  In my deepest moments of dispair, I turned to my Heavenly Father because I knew that He was the greatest comforter.  My faith has never been tested as much as it was during those years of waiting for God's timing. 

Motherhood has strengthen my marriage.  I have the best husband!  We had 10 wonderful years together before Matthew came into our lives.  Being parents has not only increased our love for each other, it helps remind us to always strive to be the best example we can to our son.  We are the front line for how he perceives love and marriage when he gets older. 

I waited so long to experience motherhood. Years.  And so far it has been one of the greatest experiences in my life.  It is not easy.  And I know it will get harder.  But it's still one of the greatest callings in the wold.  I am honored to be called 'momma' by Matthew.