Beta #5, IVF #1

And the verdict is...unknown still.  Today's beta came back at 155.  Yes, it's up, but not by much (in IVF standards).  The dr wants me to go off all the meds.  The nurse said I will probably bleed more heavily this weekend.  It's gone from light brown to pink/red.  I will go in on Monday for another beta test.  If it goes up, then they will keep monitoring every other day.  If it goes down, then they will monitor once a week until the number is negative.

Part of me thinks that maybe, by some miracle, that it's just one of the embryos that didn't make it and needs to flush itself out.  That maybe, by some mircle, the other one is still viable.  Maybe that's wishful thinking, but it still gives me that tiny ounce of hope to hold on to. 

You know how people say you're either pregnant or you're not and that there's not such thing as 'kind of pregnant?'  I'm starting to think I fit into the latter category.  I tested positive as being pregnant, now I don't really know if I'm still pregnant or not, so wouldn't that make me kinda pregnant?!

This is going to be a long weekend.  Keep the prayers coming please.  As long as there is still an ounce of hope left, I will keep hoping.

It's Not Looking So Good

I started spotting very lightly last night.  It was brownish (sorry TMI).  I hear that it's pretty normal to spot at the beginning of pregnancy (especially through IVF).  Well today it's a little more noticeable, but definitely not heavy.  I don't have a good feeling about this.

I was feeling very discouraged last night and this morning.  Steve was able to give me a blessing before we left for work today.  I balled by eyes out because I really felt the Spirit and the love of my Heavenly Father.  I had been praying for comfort to know that the baby(ies) were going to be okay.  Instead, I received the feeling of comfort that I was going to be okay.  I know that whatever happens, He will get me through this. 

I will go in tomorrow for bloodwork.  I asked to work from home tomorrow because I don't think I can handle the bad news while at work. (My last miscarriage news was delivered while at work last year).

So, I am hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.  I will update as soon as I find out the results tomorrow afternoon.  Thank you for all your prayers!

Beta #1 from IVF #1

Everyone says the 2 WW is the hardest, and believe me, it was! The first week wasn't so bad since I was home on 'couch rest.'  It was harder once I returned to work.  I couldn't stop thinking about those two little embry babies and wondering if they were hatching and attaching. 

So, on Friday I broke down and took a pregnancy test.  I figured it had been long enough right? 

Friday, Oct. 2nd, 10dp3dt (10 days pass 3 day transfer) = BFN (BIG FAT NEGATIVE).  What a bummer that was.

Okay, so I should have listen to Steve when he said it was too early and that I would just be sad if it came back negative.  He was so right!

Then I figured I would wait two days and test again.  It just HAD to happen at this point!

Sunday, Oct 4th,  (12dp3dt) = BFN.  Double bummer.  By this point, I was feeling VERY discouraged! I was sulking in my own pity party, convinced that this first cycle was a total bust! 

Tuesday rolled around and I was convinced that it was going to be another negative so why waste the pregnancy test (those things can get expensive!)  But I needed to know before I went in for the actual beta test so I could prepare myself for the bad news. 

I was tired of seeing the negative results so I peed in a cup and told Steve to take the test for me.  Three minutes later, he showed me the stick and there were two lines!!!  Wow, I couldn't believe it!

Tuesday (14dp3dt) = BFP (BIG FAT POSITIVE!!!!)

Look closely, you can see two lines. 

This morning, before we went in for our beta test, I wanted to take one more home pregnancy test. JUST to make sure I wasn't being punk'd, (15dp3dt).  Wow, it was still a BFP!! There's something about actually seeing the word 'Pregnant' that makes it real!

We went in this morning for our first beta test. I wanted to wait for the nurse to call before I posted anything. She literally just called.  Beta test was positive, HOWEVER, it was VERY low....24! She told me to continue to be optimistic.  I am so nervous and scared now.  Wow, I've never heard of such a low number.  I go back on Friday for another beta.  PLEASE, PLEASE pray for us!

**If you are my friend on Facebook, please do not post anything on my wall concerning this.  Feel free to comment here or email me, but I don't want to post it on FB. 
** If you are my friends from church, please do not spread the news to anyone.  I just ask that everyone say prayers for us!**