Part of me wanted to go ahead and get in one more cycle, but then the other part of me wanted to just take a break and enjoy the holidays, then start in January (or start taking the BCP in mid/late December). Steve wanted to wait, hoping for a miracle that we would get pregnant on our own in the next two months and then we could get our money back (since we're in the shared risk program). Given my history of miscarriages, I'm not very optismistic about that scenario. But of course, he said it was up to me and he would support me either way.
I prayed really hard so that I could make the right decision. I WANT to jump right back in and start the next IVF cyle, BUT, I FEEL like we should wait. And that was the war that was going on in my head all day yesterday. Should we do it? Should we wait? What do we have to lose? Let's do it! No, let's wait! Ai-yah!
As much as I WANT to do it, I'm just not FEELING it. So....we are going to wait for now. We will use the time to heal emotionally and try and get fit physically (although that will be twice as hard since the holidays are sneaking up on us!). I called the nurse today and told her our decision. She was super nice, as usual, and she totally understands.
We still have our post IVF appointment with the dr next week to go over all the details of this past cycle and the protocol for the next cycle.
I am looking forward to a little mini break from all the shots and meds (especially the progesterone!).
***As a side note, I have really enjoyed 'meeting' new people this month through ICLW. You guys are all wonderful and I pray that you will all have many blessings poured out upon you!
19 comments:
I'm sorry you had to make a decision like that. You and your DH have been through so much. I turly hope you have a BFP that sticks soon!
Happy ICLW and good luck!
P.S. I love Glee, too. For some reason I'm really impatient about this show and want all the stories resolved! When will Schu figure out that his wife is a crazy person?! Then he can move on to the cute counselor girl!
<3 the new blog layout!!
xx
Its so hard to make split decisions like that isn't it? Seems you made the right one as you went with your heart. Enjoy your break, the holidays and start fresh in 2010. - ICLW
Thanks for visiting me!
A mini-break is great - particularly during the holidays!
It's always good to go with your instincts. I hope the mini break is enjoyable as the holiday's approach!
PS - I live the new backbround! : )
Glad that you have a plan and that your are finding peace in your decision. Hope and pray that you are able to enjoy the holidays.
All the best!
I'm sorry you had to make that decision. I hope you're able to enjoy the holidays and your break, and that the next cycle results in a fat BFP that sticks for a long 9 months! Happy ICLW!
it is a horrible decision to have to make, but i think that deciding to hold off is best. cycling over the holidays is awful, i have done it twice. every time that i went through it i was always wondering why i added even more stress.
ilcw
It is always good once you can get through those hard decisions and get your plan in place. I'll be sending good thoughts and prayers for a restful break and that things go well as you move forward.
ICLW
I'm so sorry that you've suffered another loss.
((HUGS))
Making the decision to cycle or not is always so hard. It sounds like you have made the best decision for you.
Thank you for stopping by my blog and your kind comment.
*ICLW*
Hi sweetie, I totally know what you mean about wanting to jump in, but feeling it isn't the right time. I think you made the right decision, mostly because you weren't feeling it. But I also think it was a good decision because who wants to try to cycle during the holidays? You would be so emotional, and hormonal from the meds. I am sure you will be so glad you waited.
Thinking of you. *hugs*
I hope you are able to enjoy the perks of a few months off and that when you start again in 2010 want and feel are lined up.
ICLW
I hope you are able to enjoy your break and relax before your next round. Good luck!
It sounds like you made the right decision, and having a break & relaxing over the holidays can only do you good. Good luck for the next cycle!
Thanks for commenting on my blog! Sad as it is, it's nice to find another who has been through much of what I have.
2010 is the year (or maybe if we're really blessed, before that). I know how hard it to make a decision about waiting or moving forward, but going with your gut is the best thing. And, taking breaks is really nice even if it sometimes feels "antiproductive". I am already debating how long I should try naturally before going back to IVF again....am I "wasting time", or could it work. Can't someone just tell us when it's going to happen!? Anyway, wishing you a needle-free holiday and all the best with everything.
Hi, Thanks for stopping by my blog. I understand the dilemma of wanting to go forward with another cycle but not being ready, and it sounds like you've got a solid plan. Enjoy the holidays!
I hope your break will bring lots of healing and great moments with the Hubby. That is such a hard choice but it sounds like you weighed your options and the gut feeling is usually the best. Best wishes, you will be in my prayers!
ICLW
I really know what it's like to want to keep being proactive but it feels like you should take a break. DH and I did because I didn't want to be stressing out about trying to fit another cycle in before our vacation. God usually whispers so maybe that's why you don't "feel" it.
I hope that you enjoy your holiday break! I think that cycling over the holidays would just add to the stress. Thanks for visiting my blog.
ICLW
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